Therefore, it’s important, to follow through with any consequence once it’s given. discussion. I'm really worried as I don't want her to fall back at school and she should be doing more for her age. If I take a toy away, he doesn't care; being told off doesn't bother him in the slightest. So she just left and I don't know where she goes. I know you want to keep your phone, so let’s think of ways for you to be able to do that.”, Parents often say to me, “My child acts like he doesn’t care. How to Take Away a Privilege to Teach Your Child a Life Lesson, Why the Best Discipline Uses Both Positive and Negative Consequences, 10 Bad Excuses for Not Disciplining Your Kids, Parents Can Use Strategies for Handling Out-of-Control Kids, 8 Discipline Strategies That Are More Effective Than Spanking, How to Create an Effective Behavior Management Plan, These Consequences Will Change Your Teen's Behavior, How to Manage Misbehavior With Discipline Without Punishment, Strategies That Will Help You Become More Authoritative to Your Kids, How to Change Your Child's Behavior With Behavior Modification, Strategies to Consider When Establishing Time-Out as a Consequence, 7 Reasons Why Calling the Police Won't Teach Your Child a Lesson. I agree with most things in this article . Have a good day.” He won’t argue with you. It was tearing out family apart. You just want him to stop talking poorly to his sister. I picked him up from nursery today to be told that he'd bitten his friend. to access your Personal Parenting Plan. Wait until a calm moment and then lay out the consequences simply and clearly. replace qualified medical or mental health assessments. You may also wish to create a series of “First ____, then _____” cards. And better behavior IS the goal. ... that children who misbehave and don't care at all about the consequences are misbehaving for the sake of the reaction, good or bad. Our oldest daughter is autistic, but considered high functioning. Perhaps your child doesn’t respond to timeouts like he used to—in fact, he doesn’t seem to care about being punished. ". Think about it, if you ground him for 30 days and then he does something wrong tomorrow, what are you going to do? Try to be as gentle as you can while still holding reasonable and safe guidelines. I advise parents to sit down and write a “consequences list.” You can think of this as a menu of choices. Create a Discipline Toolbox to Help You Address Behavior Problems, Toddlers need both positive parenting and consistent consequences from mothers. I hope you don't mind me responding. Time outs are also useful for preschool aged children. We ask that you refrain from discussing topics of a political  He really seems not to want ANYTHING, except to prove he cannot be made ro do anything or change at all. Intimidation... aggression... physical abuse and violence... Are you concerned that your child may physically hurt you or others? Don’t put so much weight on making him “hurt” that you’re not thinking about trying to get your child to learn a new behavior. But while concerning yourself with your children’s actions, you need to discipline in a way that keeps your child’s self-esteem intact. If you delay the consequence, you're blunting their emotional impact on your … And a problem-solving conversation is the most effective way to talk with your child about change. Get diet and wellness tips to help your kids stay healthy and happy. I just don't know what to do. Frustrated and exhausted by your child's behavior? Education should be the most important part of the consequence of a discipline infraction. Be consistent with punishments. i.e. Parents often wonder why their kids make the same mistakes over and over, and I say, “Well, they do that because they’re kids. He has to clean up his room and keep it clean for so many days if he wants access to a play room where the TV is. You must log in to leave a comment. Don't take the bait. After all, giving your child a consequence until he shows you he can do better is an effective tool you have at your disposal at all times—even if he tells you he doesn’t care. These cards are useful for sequencing the routines and language of Conscious Discipline. Consequences that drag on too long cause kids to lose motivation to modify their behavior. Whatever your child's age, it's important to be consistent when it comes to discipline. So, if you find yourself wondering how to discipline a 4 year old, you’re not alone. For instance, you should never prohibit your child from going to the prom. Could you do that?”, And try to help your child come up with his own ideas. That’s because receiving a consequence makes kids feel powerless. Try to tie the consequence directly to the misbehavior. If your child rides their bike out of the designated area, take away bicycle privileges. Getting strong-willed kids to cooperate When we think of discipline, our thoughts often turn towards punishment. And if you can’t do that, then you can’t use the phone. A child who’s been neglected, abused, and traumatized will react differently than a child who has been loved consistently to consequences, discipline, and rewards. In my opinion, you should never be sarcastic with your child because it’s wounding. In my opinion, you have to be like that police officer when giving your child a consequence. If they continue to violate the same rules, however, you may need to find a new consequence. Perhaps they return to the same misbehavior within 10 minutes of you handing out a consequence. What you want to do is lay out your consequences for your child’s inappropriate behavior very clearly. Other times, consequences can actually make things worse. Their sense of self almost requires them to respond by shrugging and saying, “Whatever,” simply in order to feel in control again.  In order to help your son change his behavior, it could be useful to assist him in developing more appropriate skills. We've tried just banning the show. You shouldn’t try to control his emotional life.

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